Monday, April 2, 2007

Mea Culpa--I Was Wrong and Want More Information

In writing this kind of blog, it’s easy to believe that those who write to agree with me are good, kind, decent, salt-of-the-earth types, while those who disagree are close-minded, cranky, hobby-horse riding nut jobs. This may well be true, but not in a recent case.

I was wrong in a recent posting, and my readers made this clear to me.

In http://novelistador.blogspot.com/2007/03/chosen-child-adoption-book-proposal.html, I claimed to have no interest in my biological family, writing as an automaton. A number of readers wrote to me and about me, using language which got through to me and made me recognize my desire to find out more about my past.

While many of the reader’s comments were mean-tempered, sometimes it does take a sharp stick to get a rise out of a sleeping dog. (Please strike that last image--it’s late. The last thing I need is to be set upon by animal-rights activists.)

Anyway, this is a long way of saying I’m sorry, and that I’d like to learn more about adoption and the search for biological families.

2 comments:

Ungrateful Little Bastard said...

Hi… I’m glad I struck you in my google reader!

“and made me recognize my desire to find out more about my past.”

I think this comes to each of us on our own and by means of different prompts. In all the support materials and books on searching, there’s always the caveat about asking yourself exactly why it is you want to search.

I’ve always felt that for those who don’t want to search, they should ask themselves the same question. If someone says they have no interest in searching, maybe they should look into that and ask themselves is it really their desire not to search, or the protection of their adoptive parent’s feelings? Or the very real fear of being invalidated again and again?

Maybe you might want to take the time to read through a lot of adoptee blogs again. I honestly think you’ll find that it’s not this desperate scrambling to be complete that drives us to search; it’s the simple, honest and very human desire to have a link to our past, and to be free from the assumptions and lies fostered upon us.

There is only one person who can give me the truth about the circumstances of my surrender, and that is my first mother.

And you know what? Just my close-minded, cranky, hobby-horse riding nut job opinion here, but what your sister did in trying to find you took a lot of guts, determination, strength and bravery. Maybe if you want to find out more about adoption and the search for families, she’d be a good place to start?

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