None of these are stolen from Dane Cook or anybody else.
1) If I were to die today, who would deliver my eulogy (or my malogy, for those of you with a Classical background)? I mean, I've written and delivered quite a few of these suckers, and I know how to get 'em crying, yet leave 'em laughing. Who can I trust to deliver mine? Would a videotape of me talking about the me who used to be vertical be tasteless?
2) Does good pitching always beat good hitting? Always? How about the Big Red Machine of the 70s? How good were Don Gullett, Fred Norman, Gary Nolan, Jack Billingham, Pat Darcy, and Clay Kirby, really?
3) I'd really like to figure out a way to disappear completely, leaving no trace of my former self. I don't actually want to do so, but I'd like an outline.
4) What is the greatest novel ever? Gatsby? Middlemarch? It Can't Happen Here? On Account of Because? What Trouble Looks Like?
5) If I join a CD club, is it really a good deal? Can I even think of 12 CDs I'd like to own? Tonio K? Daniel Amos? Swirling Eddies? Lost Dogs? Peter Case? Any other candidates, folks?
6) For whom I should I vote in the 2008 New Hampshire Primary, given that my votes have gone, in order from 1980 on, to Ted Kennedy, Gary Hart, Bruce Babbitt, Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton, John McCain (write-in) and Joe Liebermann? Any readers who can spot a pattern here and offer advice are begged to do so.
7) Why is Waking Life one of my favorite movies?
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